"Here's my gown!"
A wedding celebrates two people partnering for life. Yet at
nearly every wedding, the spotlight falls on just one person:
the bride. There's no moment quite as anticipated -- by the
bride herself, her groom, and all in attendance -- than the
one when she first appears at the ceremony entrance and makes
that long walk down the aisle. Some brides revel in this attention;
for others, the scrutiny is a source of endless anxiety. Wherever
you fall on that scale, the probable result is that a great
deal of your wedding planning thought and energy will go into
making one key decision: picking your wedding gown.
Only about 30% of brides borrow or rent a gown, wear a dress
that has been handed down through the family, or wear one that
has been sewn for them. That means the vast majority of you
-- approximately 70% -- will purchase a wedding gown, usually
through a bridal boutique. For most of you, your wedding gown
will be the most expensive piece of apparel you ever wear. And
yet you'll wear it for only one day. It's no surprise that you
demand something really special, and that choosing a dress is
such a momentous decision. You want to find the perfect dress.
We're here to help you find it without blowing your budget.
Here are some tips that will make you a savvy bridal gown shopper:
Try to filter out the emotional baggage that might cause you
to make a bad decision.
If you are like most brides, your childhood fantasies were aswirl
with sumptuous ballgowns, bejeweled tiaras, and miles of tulle.
Reality check: those impossibly gorgeous gowns were never constructed
of costly silk or lace, but rather the far less expensive pen
and ink of Disney animators. Unless you really do have a fairy
godmother, you're not likely to find something quite so magical
-- at least not unless you're prepared to spend a small fortune.
Then there's the whole matter of your own body image -- which
may have a few bruises from years of unfair comparison to ridiculous
synthetic standards, from Barbi to Baywatch. No wedding gown
is going to make you six inches taller or shrink your waist
to half the size of your hips. The right gown, however, can
mask flaws and play up your assets. Be realistic. Be practical.
And be kind to yourself. You're a beautiful woman. (Just ask
your groom, he'll tell you.) And you're going to look fabulous.
Listen to everyone's advice (yes, even your mother's and future
mother-in-law's), but don't pick a dress just to please them.
They mean well. And they may in fact have fairly objective opinions
on the look that flatters you most...but probably not. Your
mom loves you dearly, and deep down she thinks you look best
in knee socks and pigtails. Your future mother-in-law is probably
still getting to know you. She may be more in touch with the
woman she hopes you will be than the woman you are. You know
your own style best. Do you want your wedding day look to reflect
that? Or is this the moment when you want to reveal a different
side of yourself? The decision is yours. Let everyone get their
two cents in. Smile appreciatively, thank them for the great
ideas. Then pick the dress you want. Whatever the price tag,
no dress is a bigger waste of money than a dress that you don't
really love.
Start immediately. Look far and wide. Save pictures. Come up
with a strategic shopping plan. Stick to it.
The sooner you start dress shopping, the better. (More about
that later.) Look at lots of dresses. (We have literally thousands
right here in our Fashion Search!) Print out the pictures of
the dresses you like most. Use our Local Resources directory
to find salons in your area. Call them to find out which carry
the specific gowns or designers you favor. Then formulate a
strategic shopping plan: schedule a visit to two or three salons
at most per day, one day each weekend for a month. (Don't overschedule
or you'll become tired and nothing will feel right.) You know
the old admonition that you have to kiss a lot of frogs before
you find your prince? Well, try on lots of frogs. Not having
much luck? Try on at least one dress each weekend that is nothing
at all like what you expect to end up with; you may be surprised.
Even if you think you have found the perfect dress in the very
first salon you visit, stick to your plan. If the salon pushes
you to commit to a dress, don't be swayed. (Go ahead, tell them
about your strategic shopping plan -- it will make them realize
you are not a pushover and that they'll have to work extra hard
to get your dollars.)
There will be lots of very beautiful dresses, but you're looking
for the one. This is your time to search far and wide and know
exactly what is out there. You were smart enough not to marry
the first boy who kissed you. Don't marry in the first dress
you try on. Find your best shopping ally.
Maybe you already know who she is. Maybe she's a he. (Sorry,
whoever she or he is, it isn't your groom. It probably also
isn't your mother or your sister.) This person is the friend
who: has known you at least three years has great taste (preferably
different than your own!) has seen you in your pajamas, your
grungiest sweats, your typical workday outfit, and formalwear
understands your wedding style and budget doesn't mind a month
of watching you try on wedding dresses is polite but firm with
salespeople has purchased an article of clothing for you as
a gift in the last six months that you absolutely love. Tell
this friend that instead of getting you a wedding gift, you'd
like to ask him or her to be your shopping ally, accompanying
you on as many of the steps in the shopping plan as possible.
Note to friend asked to be shopping ally: say yes. She'll love
you forever for it. Sleep on it. Twice. Then get your order
in as quickly as possible. When you find "the one," sleep on
it. Try it on again not less than 48 hours later. If you were
alone the first time, take your shopping ally with you. If your
shopping ally was with you the first time, try it on alone this
time. Sleep on it another night. Still love it? Get your order
in. The dress you try on in the store is not the one you will
take home with you. Your dress has to be made. Any order to
be filled in less than six months is, believe it or not, considered
a rush job, and that means extra costs. Consult the manufacturers
sizing chart and order your true size. The sample you try on
in the store may not be your exact size.
In fact, it may not even be its own exact size! Consider that
the sample dress has been tried on by dozens of other brides,
at the very least. The dress could be stretched out. Determine
your size based on the manufacturers sizing chart. The bridal
salon should have that information available for you.
Be realistic about those ten pounds you think you're going to
lose. And don't be talked into ordering a size too big, unless
you expect to...well, expand. A less reputable salon might try
to get you to order a size too big so they can then charge you
for alterations to make the dress fit. Don't fall for it. Don't
forget to consider "hidden" costs. If you've budgeted $750 for
the bride's wedding attire, consider that the gown alone isn't
your only bridal attire cost. There are the obvious additional
costs -- shoes, stockings, lingerie (possibly including a crinoline
or slip), headpiece and/or veil, jewelry, possibly gloves and
a bridal purse -- as well as costs associated with the gown
itself: alterations, pressing or perhaps cleaning, etc. Depending
on the price tag of your dress, you could easily spend that
much again on all the other pieces! Don't let any cost sneak
up on you. Know your rights as a consumer. Most bridal boutiques
are highly reputable establishments whose employees are genuinely
knowledgeable and helpful. Alas, there are some exceptions.
Some bridal salons remove the manufacturers tags from the sample
dresses, in an effort to keep you from identifying the maker
and style. (It's a transparent attempt to prevent you from being
able identify and then seek out a better price on the gown.)
Removal of tags indicating the manufacturer, fiber content,
and place of manufacture is a violation of Federal law. You
have a right to that information, and if a salon won't provide
it, you are well within your rights in confronting them about
their policy. If they are still uncooperative, tell them you
are taking your business elsewhere. Get it in writing. All of
it. Every detail. From the fabric used to the number of buttons
down the back of the dress. And the estimated costs for alterations,
if you are having them done at the same place where you purchase
the dress.
Think of it like buying a car. (Yes, a wedding dress costs much
less than a car, but you drive a car for more than one day.)
When you buy a new car, every detail is itemized -- power windows,
CD player, what kind of speakers. Better to have too many details
than not enough. If someone tries to slip a poor imitation of
your dress by you, you'll have the facts to back up your claim
of fraud. If possible, use a credit card for the deposit on
your dress...and the balance when you pick it up. Federal law
and in some cases credit card policy provide you with certain
protections. It isn't a 100% guarantee against problems, but
at least you'll have some recourse if you don't get what you've
paid for.
If for some reason a salon insists on cash or a check, run --
don't walk -- out the door and don't turn back. Heed the cautionary
advice above, but don't let it daunt you. Shopping for your
wedding dress is a memory you'll treasure. There are thousands
of gorgeous gowns out there, and one of them is the perfect
gown for you. Armed with solid information, a strategic plan,
and some moral support, you too can be a savvy bridal fashion
shopper and a beautiful bride.
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