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"Kem Chho"
Gujarati marriage ceremonies from western India have their
own regional traditions and customs that add a unique flavour
and colour to the cultural masala of India.
The marriage festivities are preceded with symbolic figures
drawn by female relatives of the couple. The figures are drawn
in the traditional colours of red, green, and yellow and always
include the figures if Lord Ganesha - a must for all major
ceremonies, the sun, a peacock and the marriage mandap or
venue. The colours symbolize red for passion, green for fertility
and yellow for spirituality.
The sun and the planets are worshipped so that the stars may
always augur good fortune for the bride and groom.
Other preparation rituals are the preparation of papads, til
laddos and a sweet ghari. An all-women for cheda-chedi ceremony
is held with singing traditional Gujarati songs. The vriddhi
Shraddha ritual follows during which all deceased ancestors
are asked to shower their blessings on the couple while a
paternal aunt of the groom performs Ganesh puja. Jari embroidered
saris in a single colour are distributed to the female relatives.
Two days prior to the marriage the groom and bride undergo
the customary traditional bath and anointing with haldi /
turmeric, natural perfume and milk. They don turmeric coloured
clothes for this bath, after which they are confined to the
house and do not emerge till the marriage day. During this
time the bride offers puja to the Sun God and recites slokas
in the presence of a relative of the groom.
A day before her marriage the bride receives her palloon /
wealth from the groom's place. It consists of saris, ornaments,
gift articles and a token amount of money. This is now the
exclusive property of the bride.
On the wedding day the couple fast. The groom is given a bath
with the collective (hypothetical) waters of the Rivers Ganga,
Godavari, Jaumna, Narmada, Saraswati, Tapi and Jhelum and
seawater. These waters of the above rivers indicate that his
and his wife's lives will merge harmoniously just as the waters
of the rivers merge with the seas. The bride, at her house,
is helped to dress a panetar, a brilliant red sari by her
maternal aunt and is ready to proceed to the marriage mandap.
The groom sets out from his place either on foot or horseback.
The marriage day begins with the pokavu or arrival of the
groom, who is greeted by his future mother-in-law at the entrance.
The groom and the bride press each other's toes indicating
that they will serve each other in times of need. As the bride's
mother performs aarti, she grabs his nose, playfully reminding
him that he has finally come rubbing his nose at their door
to ask for their daughter's hand in marriage. The groom gives
his consent and in playful retaliation he wipes his face to
her sari pallav, sometimes holding on to it for a longer time
than he should till his ego is appeased with a cash gift.
Meanwhile, the bride's sister' steal the groom's shoes only
returning them in exchange for a cash gift.
After Jaimala, the Madhupark ceremony is performed, where
the bride's parents wash the groom's feet are washed and he
his fed honey and milk while sitting under the mandap. The
bride is then carried to the mandap by her maternal uncle
in a ceremony known as kanyadaan, a tradition that has survived
from the days when child marriages were common. At this point,
the antarpat or curtain separating the bride and groom, is
lowered and the couple exchange garlands. It is now time for
the bride to be given away in a ritual known as kanyadaan
or hasta milap. The Gujarati's have added the varmala ritual
to this ceremony in which the elders of the house place an
auspicious cord around the couple's necks to protect them
from evil influences. During the mangal phera the couple circle
the fire four times instead of the customary seven. The four
circles symbolize the four basic human goals: Dharma/ religion,
Artha/ money, Karma / passion and Moksha/ spiritual enlightenment.
The couple is now married and fed with sweets of kheer and
kansar amidst light banter and fun, music and enjoyment.
Another interesting Gujarati wedding ritual is the saubhagyavati
bhava, in which several married women from the bride's family
whisper blessings, some witty, some stern, into the right
ear of the bride.
Prior to the vidai ceremony the names of the ancestors up
to the last three generations are read out aloud with all
the relatives present. The gotras or clans of the couple are
announced and the richness of the couple's lineage appreciated.
The couple now departs from the girl's house after the vidai,
for the groom's house. Amidst tearful farewells the bride
listens to obligatory words of advice from her mother. She
then leaves the imprint of kum-kum soaked hands on the wall
of her house reminding her parents that she will always be
present in thought even though she is physically leaving them
for her husband's home. In the groom's house a game called
aeki-beki is played, by placing a ring and several coins in
a tray of water, coloured with vermilion and milk. It is said
that the person who finds the ring four times, will rule the
house. The day concludes with prayers to God asking love and
happiness for the couple.
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