Rajasthan is a land of tradition. Kingdoms and dynasties have
sacrificed their lives for 'Honor'. The women folk have committed
jhohar - a collective suicide so as to protect their dignity
from the marauding enemy. This Honor, dignity and pride in their
past has become a part and parcel of their present day existence
also and is exhibited in their social and religious customs
and ceremonies. The concept of equality/parity in social status
thus gains importance, especially in settling marriages.
Marwari marriages in Rajasthan are usually traditional elaborate
affairs, and in the case of royalty the functions are grander
and even more ostentatious. The pre and post-wedding functions
often stretch for days on end. Even a simple Marwari marriage
in Rajasthan is just as elaborate - as tradition and customs
take precedence over everything else.
The marriage process follows age-old customs and we have attempted
to explain all the ceremonies. You can follow the links below
to check out the same:
Match-Making Ceremonies
Actual Wedding
Post-Wedding
Ceremony Ceremony
1. Match-Making:
First and foremost is the matchmaking part in the marriage
alliance. This is an extremely delicate matter and utmost care
so that the alliance is perfect. First, the status of the families
have to be at par, the Marwari clan must be taken into consideration
since the bride and the groom should hail from separate clans.
Then, the horoscopes have to be approved and tallied by the
family astrologer. Marwaris, as a rule, marry only within the
community. Exceptions are made only if royalty is involved.
2. Ceremonies:
1. The Sagaai / Official Engagement Ceremony
The sagaai / engagement ceremony takes place at the home of
the groom. Only the bride's father, brother and other close
relatives attend this ceremony. This is strictly an all male
affair. No ladies, not even the bride, accompany the men folk
for the tika ceremony, so called because the bride's brother
actually applies a tilak to the groom's forehead and makes the
alliance or engagement official. A sword and other presents
of clothes, fruits, sweets etc., are given to the groom.
2. Ganapati Sthapna & Griha Shanti Ceremony
With the Marwaris there is no ring ceremony. The Ganapati sthapana
and the griha shanti is the second most important ceremony performed
usually a few days prior to the marriage. The groom or bride's
parents perform a havan to propitiate the gods and an idol of
Lord Ganapati is installed. All ceremonies commence only after
this sthapana / installation.
3. Pithi Dastoor Ceremony
The pithi dastoor is one of the first important ceremonies.
This involves the bride/groom and continues until the day of
the marriage. The actual ceremony consists of application of
turmeric and sandal wood paste to the bride and groom who cannot
leave the house once the pithi starts. The pithi dastoor at
the bride's house is an elaborate affair. The bride dressed
in an orange poshak, Rajasthani dress, is brought under a silken
canopy, held with the help of swords at the four corners by
four ladies same clan as the bride. She is brought to the ladies
gathering, where they apply turmeric and sandalwood paste to
her. A similar ceremony is also taking placeat the groom's house,
although it is not so elaborate. Dholans (womensingers with
dholak) sing auspicious pre-wedding songs while the ceremony
is in progress. Throughout the marriage celebrations, the dholans
are present, along with the Shehnai and the nagara players,
though the latter remain at the courtyard or the garden.
4. Mehfils
Mehfils are in integral part of every Rajasthani marriage. Usually
held in the evenings, they are again segregated into the ladies
mehfil" and the gents' mehfil. At the ladies' mehfil, all
the womenfolk gather at a central place in an enclosed courtyard
or hall. Dressed in dazzling dresses, they perform the ghoomar,
special group). The bride at the mehfil is given an important
position to sit and watch the proceedings. She may join the
dancing occasionally, but protocol demands that she should not
over indulgein the dancing. If the ladies' mehfil is in progress
at the groom's house, then only the groom is privileged to attend
the all women affair. The men, too, have their own mehfil, where
singers perform and these are strictly all male parties.
5. Mahira Dastoor
The mahira dastoor is yet another important ceremony, common
to both the bride and the groom's families. This ceremony is
performed by the maternal uncle of the groom/bride, who, along
with his wife and family, arrive with much fanfare, and are
received by the bride/groom's mother with the traditional welcome.
The uncle then gives clothes, jewellery, sweets etc., to the
entire family. The ceremony signifies that since at the time
of a marriage there is considerable expenditure, it is the duty
of the brother to help his sister at her child's marriage.
6. Janev Ceremony
The janev ceremony, where the sacred thread is given to the
would be groom on the eve of his becoming the householder, is
interesting. The janev is given only to men. The groom has to
be dressed in saffron robes like an ascetic and perform a havan
before wearing the thread. The significance of saffron robes
is that the groom now has two choices before him: either he
renounces the world and becomes an ascetic,or he accepts the
institution of marriage and its responsibilities. After the
havan is completed and the thread given, the groom has to make
a mock attempt to run from the chains of marriage while the
maternal uncle must catch him and convince his nephew into accepting
marriage.
7. Palla Dastoor
On the day of the actual marriage, or maybe a day prior, the
palla dastoor is brought in by a few of the groom's relatives,
accompanied by family retainers, to the bride's house. The palla
dastoor consists of clothes, jewellery and gifts from the groom,
which the bride has to wear during the marriage ceremony. This
particular custom is typical to the Marwaris. The traditional
Rajasthani poshak or wedding dress is usually a red one, but
it could also be orange, gold yellow or pink. In certain Marwari
clans, a bright parrot green is also worn. The jewellery consists
of the rakhri / a circular piece of jewellery for the forehead,
danglers for the ears, the timaniyaan / a choker studded with
uncut diamonds, the chooda / a set of ivory and gold bangles,
the bajuband / gold gem-studded armlets, gold anklets, bichhiya
/gold toe-rings for the feet, and the nath / the stone-studded
nose-ring. The jewellery has its own significance:the rakhri,
worn in the parting of the hair, signifies that the bride must
walk on the straight path, earrings remind her that she should
not have weak ears and listen to gossip, the necklace so that
her head is always bowed down in humility, bangles tell her
that her hand must always go forward doing charity, anklets
that she puts the right foot forward and the nosering, of which
it is said that the pearl should not be heavier than the nose,
which means you should not spend more than what your husband
can afford.
8. The Marwari Baraat
A Marwari baraat consists entirely of male members. The bridegroom
is usually dressed in a gold achkan, with an orange turban and
a churidar or jodhpurs with jootis. On the turban he wears a
serpech a jeweled ornament only worn on turbans. Around the
neck he wears a necklace and the waist is tied with a cummer
band. Variations in styles and colours prevail. The baraat members
also must wear achkans or sherwanis with jodhpurs and safas
or colourful turbans. The procession to the bride's house is
rather regal as there is absolutely no dancing on the streets
by the baraatis. In fact, all members, including the groom who
rides an elephant or a horse, carry swords. The horse is important
for the Marwaris.
3. Actual Wedding Ceremony:
On the morning of the wedding day, Baan Chadana is performed
at the bride's and the groom's house to ensure prosperity.
The groom is taken inside to the ladies section where he is
received by the bride's mother with the traditional aarti, and
then to the mandap for the wedding ceremony. The bridegroom
is accompanied. at this stage by only one married male relative
and maybe his younger brother or a younger male cousin.
The marriage ceremony is similar to a Hindu marriage. However,
the bride must keep her face covered by a long veil throughout
the marriage ceremony.
While the marriage is in progress, the baraat is entertained
outside by the male members of the bride's family. Therefore,
it is mainly the women members of the bride's family who attend
the marriage ceremony. The ceremonies and other rituals, including
the bidai, are similar to other Hindu marriages. There are,
however, certain rituals which are of particular interest.
For example, at the time of the bidai, a coconut is placed under
the wheel of the car before the bride lifts her veil for the
husband after the marriage. This is an important ceremony. At
this stage, the groom usually gives a piece of jewellery to
his bride.
"chalo re doli uthao kanhar piya milan ki rut aayi"
4. Post Wedding Ceremony:
1. Grihapravesh
Once the baraat returns with the newly weds, the grihapravesh
takes place. The bride still wears the veil while the puja and
other ceremonies take place. A few games are played between
the bride and the groom which are common to other Hindu marriage
too.
2. Pagelagni
The day following the grihapravesh, the pagelagni takes place.
This is a ceremony where the bride, still in veil, is formally
introduced to all the family members of the groom who bless
her and give her gifts. The veil is now finally removed,and
from here the new life begins………….
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