Wedding Planner

Destination - Malyalam Wedding

The Malyalam wedding is the shortest marriage ceremony, only 15 minutes. While the couple is pleased at the brevity of the function, the pundit/priest has the major and longest role to play. He has to keep the sacred fire / agni all through the preceding night.

The Malyalam marriage is preceded by the engagement or vivah nischayam ceremony. This is like a half wedding ceremony and is an occasion for the families and relatives of both parties to meet and approve the match.

The maternal uncles on both sides conduct the ceremony, sitting on either side of a brass lamp / otla valakku with a pundit overseeing the function. The boy's uncle asks the girl's uncle for his word of honor that he will give the girl in marriage. A mock consultation is held amongst the girl's relatives persuading the uncle to say yes. The uncle then says Nyan vaak taranu / I give you my word thrice. The engagement is now official. Congratulations are in order. Rings are exchanged sometimes. The nitty-gritty of the marriage, viz. auspicious date, time and venue are discussed and fixed in consultation with the pundit and in the presence of all the family members. A celebratory luncheon is now held.

The great day finally arrives, bringing with anxiety and concern, anticipation and excitement. The pundit performs a Ganapati homam in front of the holy fire. This fire is the same one lit the previous evening and kept burning through the night. The main mantras are completed before the auspicious marriage time or muhurtam.

An measuring cylinder for rice or nira para containing a pookuta / coconut flower and a nila valakku or lamp is placed next to the fire. These are traditional gifts signifying the couple has good life full of plenty, brimming with the fruit of their labour and are never in want.

The bride is the first to arrive at the mandap or marriage venue as her family is the host. The ladies in her family get ready to welcome the groom and his party. Everyone on the groom's side is welcomed with a lemon, a perfumed cotton pod wound on a 2 ins. jari-covered stick, rose water and flowers. The bride's eldest sister/brother and her maternal uncles personally welcome the groom. Each of her brothers may sometimes even gift the groom with a gold ring. Fireworks signal the beginning of the marriage celebrations and are, perhaps, the only sign of gaiety in the entire proceedings.

The groom's sister gifts the bride with the traditional Kanjeevaram sari into which she will later change. In some Malyali sub-castes the sari is presented after the tali ritual. After the gifting of the sari the bride is taken away and dressed in this sari by the female relatives of the groom and adorned with makeup, flowers, ornaments, etc. and escorted back to the mandap. In present day times this is just a namesake ritual carried out, as the bride arrives already dressed and adorned in her wedding finery to save on time.

The wedding ceremony now starts in earnest. The unwed girls from amongst the assembled guests, circle the mandap carrying plates filled with coconuts, turmeric, flowers and diyas / lamps lit with til or sesame oil. This blessing symbolizes the virgin womenfolk who are held in great honor by the Malayalis as these girls will bear the next generation of Malayalis. So too in this context the coconut stands for fertility, turmeric for purity and cleansing and finally diyas -signal of a new life.

The bride pays her respects to the bhoomi / soil of the mandap prior to entering it and takes her place in from of the agni and nira para. The groom now enters, followed by the pundit. The pundit announces the auspicious time for the tying of the mangal sutra or the tali mala and blesses it. After the bride garlands him, the groom takes the tali mala from the pundit, and ties it around his bride.s neck, and garlands her. If so desired, the couple also exchanges wedding rings

The kanyadaan ritual now takes place when he places his daughter's hand into the groom's hand. Clasping her hand, the couple together circles the agni and nira para three time, all the while being showered and blessed with saffron rice or akshata by the assembled guests. This brings to an end the sedate and solemn marriage functions.

The sedate solemn ceremonies are now offset by the sumptuous lavish lunch hosted the next day for the bride's family. The lunch is a traditional one with many compulsory dishes. These are: white rice, sambhar , parippu-nai-papada / dhal, ghee, papad, pulissari / curd curry, avail, two or three toran / dry vegetables, upperi / banana chips, inji / ginger curry, lemon curry, olan / black gram curry, kalan / raw banana curry, pachadi / white pumpkin in curd, khichdi curry / tomato in curd, two to three types of kheer always including the ada pradhaman kheer (maida with coconut), mango pickle with buttermilk / mor rounding off the lunch.

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Destination - Malyalam Wedding

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