Marriages Rituals:
Parsis have certain auspicious days as to when marriage ceremonies
are to be performed. These days are preferably Hormuzd roj (the
first day of the month) or Behram roj (the twentieth day of
the month when the angel of victory presides over the day).
Saturdaysor New Moon nights are avoided.
The ceremonies are generally before 12 noon or between 4 pm
and sunset. The doorways and gateways to the homes are festooned
with chalk marks /decorations somewhat like rangoli and specially
ordered ornate torans. Earlier the Parsis used to have a series
of ceremonies stretching over three days. Today they perform
only two to three ceremonies as per the couple's preference.
Some of the ceremonies the couple go through are described below.
Rupia Peravanu
This is the unofficial engagement, when both sides accept the
marriage. On this day the ladies of the bridegroom's family
(usually five or seven, but never more than nine) go to the
home of the bride. They are met at the door and the party enters
the home. The bride is presented with a gift of silver coins
in a red or brocade bag with the usual sagan.
Refreshments, usually the traditional sev, dhai and ravo are
served, sometimes with tareli macchi as well. The bridegroom's
family then returns home. Fish is considered as a sign of plenty,
whilst curds is auspicious in all Indian homes.
The bride's family now adds some more coins to those present
and go to the groom's home where the same procedure is repeated.
The bride's mother does sagan to the groom and gives him the
gift. Once again refreshments are served after which the bride
and her family return home.
Adravanu or Engagement
According to Parsi customs, the girl's name is always connected
with of her husband's name after betrothal, in all the religious
ceremonies. This was called the nam padvun. These days, however,
the nam padvun is associated with the actual marriage, but the
betrothal or adravanu ceremony is still performed. The adhravanu
ceremony has only the bride
and groom, their mothers and five to nine ladies of both sides
of the immediate families as the main people. On the adravanu
day the bridegroom's mother and all the ladies of his family
go to the bride's home where they are greeted with songs. As
soon as they enter, the devo ceremony is performed. A devo is
kept burning in the room and when the party enters, the bridegroom's
mother puts a silver coin in it.
During the actual ceremony, the bride and the groom stand on
the patlo together. After sagan, friends and relatives greet
the couple and give them presents. After lunch, the groom's
family leaves for their home, taking the bride with them. The
bride stays for dinner and then leaves with her family.
Mandav Saro
The mandav saro is the first ceremony that takes place four
days before the marriage. It takes place in the morning and
each side performs their own ceremony independently. An auspicious
day, either a Thursday or Sunday is chosen. Four or five married
women, who also have children, perform the ceremony. One man
is later needed for the tree (a mango sapling) planting ceremony.
All the supras are collected and stored. The bride takes these
to her new home, or gives them to the ladies who have taken
part in the ceremony. The remaining items used in the ceremony
are collected and kept aside. On the varova day, the eighth
day after the marriage, these along with the garlands and floral
bouquets, used during the marriage ceremony are collected and
thrown into the sea or river near the city or town.
Aderni
The next ceremony - the aderni is usually performed in the evening
of the same day as the mandav saro. These two ceremonies may
also be performed together either in the morning or in the evening,
but the mandav saro always precedes the aderni.
The women of the groom's family go the bride's home. They carry
clothes, trays of fish, sakar and a bowl of dhai or curds. The
bride is given these gifts. She changes her clothes and wears
red glass bangles. After refreshments, the bride's family adds
gifts to the trays brought by the groom's family, and go to
the groom's house
The next day is a period of rest. This period of rest is called
the khichree nee rest because nothing special is cooked on this
day other than khichree and sas. The third and fourth days are
known as varadh parta days. Prayers of satum and baj are performed
in the fire temple in honor of the dead and hypothetically inviting
them to the marriage. Vaarad vara, a kind of cake, saria or
rice papads and papads are sent to the homes of the bride and
groom by the respective mothers-in-law.
Marriage Day
The marriage is performed in the presence of an anjuman or assembly
of 5 people. The couple take a sacred bath or nahn prior to
donning their marriage clothes. The groom is dressed in a white
coat or dagli,white pants and wears a pagri or pheta on his
head. A kumkum teeli mark is placed on his forehead and a rose
garland around his neck. He also holds a shawl, a bouquet of
roses and a coconut, which has a cotton string, preserved from
the mandav saro, wound around it seven times. The bride is attired
in a white or rose coloured silk orlace sari. She carries the
same items as the groom with the exception of the shawl. Her
forehead too is adorned with kumkum, but in a circular form.
On the marriage day two married women from the groom's family
accompany him to the venue. He precedes the bride to the dais
where they will exchange their vows. The bride enters on the
arm of a father or elder brother, and is followed by two married
women, close relatives, holding the ses with a sari on it. Before
either of the couple goes to the dais the respective mothers
of the bride and the groom perform the achoo mechoo to ward
off evil eye. Just before the ceremony starts, a younger unmarried
sister or relative comes with a chambooru made of German silver
filled with water or milk, as a gift for groom who leaves seven
silver or gold coins in it When everyone is assembled according
to protocol, the priest asks the young couple if they have consented
to the marriage.
The protocol for assembling of the main relatives who will witness
the marriage is ·Two married men with children, one from
each side of the family, stand as witnesses on either side of
the couple : Three or more married ladies, who are close relative
of the groom and the bride, sit behind the couple · Two
officiating priests stand in front of the bridal couple In the
presence of all assembIed the priests ask the couple if they
have consented to marriage. Only after getting their consent
do the priest joins their hands together, while praying a benediction,
called Haathevaro which symbolizes that they are about to be
joined in marriage.
The actual ceremony religious ceremony now starts. The senior
priest blesses the couple and then asks the two witnesses for
their consent. On receiving the consent of the two witnesses,
the priest again asks the bridal couple thrice for their consent.
After receiving the three consents of the bridal couple the
priests recite the Ashirvad, followed by the prayer for good
heath or the Tandorosti all the time sprinkling rice and rose
petals over the couple. The ceremony ends with the adding of
more frankincense into the fire and removing it.
After the ceremony, another sister or relative or the same girl,
symbolically washes his feet, by sprinkling a few drops of milk
on his new shoes as a mark of respect demonstrating the groom's
welcome into the family. The couple is offered sev dahi, a dish
of sweet curds and vermicelli to be eaten. The fathers of the
couple as well all the elders exchange shawls, and the groom
is given one by his father-in-law. The priests too are given
gifts of a shawl and cash.
Varova
This ceremony takes place on the eighth day after the marriage.
The bride is sent to visit her parents' home for the first time.
Her in-laws are invited for dinner. At the time of departure,
the son-in-law is given a pot for storing water, filled with
pedas, a coconut on top, and a garland of flowers around it.
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