INTRODUCTION
By making marriage a sacrament, the Hindus gave the physical
union spiritual dimensions. From its initial simplicity, the
marriage ceremony, over a period of time became more complicated,
reinforcing the extended family, literally 'taking the girl
away in a special way or for a special purpose, such as making
her one's wife'. Vivaha or the marriage ceremony is one
of the oldest and most important rites of passage. Kanyadana
or giving away one's daughter in marriage was considered the
greatest sacrifice a man could perform. It was also a sacrifice
performed by the bridegroom to perpetuate his vansha
or lineage and thus fulfill his debts to his 'pitras'. As the
concept of rebirth became more important, so too, did the need
to perpetuate one's family line and progeny. A person's sons
could only perform his funeral rites and 'Shraddha' that ensured
one of a place in heaven and eventual salvation. So to this
effect marriage was considered as a means to an end- in this
case ensuring the salvation of one's parents and his place in
heaven.
THE CEREMONY
As soon as the marriage is arranged, a baithak or sitting
takes place between the two families, when the guest list, expenditure,
relatives to be
honoured with gifts or maryada and other such matters
are finalized. The next ritual is called milni or milai,
or meeting. Members of the bride's family are formally introduced
to their counterparts in the groom's family. Before the actual
marriage rites begin, the names of the ancestors of both bride
and groom, the gotrachara custom is observed when the
gotra and pravara, are announced before the gathering,
indicating the ancestry and social status of both families.
A day before the wedding the couples announce the marriage in
the presence of a priest in a mandapkarana or marriage
venue. Here the Ganapati puja or site purification, the
matruka puja of 27 goddesses and the Nandi Shraddha
invocations to the forefathers of the couple are performed.
On the marriage day, a canopy or mandapa is erected.
This is usually a wooden frame with a cloth top. The poles of
the frame are draped with strings of flowers.
This function is followed by devak devak when the seating
or sthapana of the family deity or the kuladevta
takes place in both the houses, and his blessings are invoked
for the happiness of the couple. The kuladevta is placed on
a throne of dhruva or a forked blade of grass, kachcha haldi
and rice in a cane sieve or 'baas tokri' signifying that the
marriage will be fruitful and blessed with children and able
to withstand the adversities and vicissitudes of life. A similar
puja is done for six more gods, amongst them the most prominent
being that of the Elephant god Ganpati, whose blessings are
always invoked whenever any major function such as a marriage
or any important project is undertaken. The married women, on
both sides, to bless the couple, use the haldi used in the puja
of the gods. One more puja, that of the nine planets is performed
even on the marriage day.
On the evening preceding the marriage the engagement ceremony
or vaag daan takes place when the parents of the couple
give their word to give their son/daughter in marriage to each
other in the front of relatives and the priests. A day before
the marriage, the bride together with her friends and female
relatives gather for the Mehendi ceremony, in which their
palms and feet are decorated with henna, with the bride being
teased by the other women about her future husband and in-laws
to the accompaniment of music and dance.
On arrival of the marriage party, the groom is welcomed by the
bride's mother at the mandap, where he is welcomed with aarti
and a sprinkling of water and milk. After being seated he is
given madhupak, a mixture of honey and curds, and greeted with
sweets by the guests. Meantime the bride prays in her room and
invokes the blessings of Gauri, the first wed mother goddess
and Annapurna, the goddess of grain. The bridegroom's mother
performs oti bharne on the bride and gifts her a sari.
In this ritual a married woman places a coconut, rice and supari
or betal nut, the symbols of fertility in the bride's lap and
ties it around the waist, blessing the womb for the children
it will bear. This ancient ritual is one of reverence, hailing
woman as the mother figure and blessing the children she will
bear. It is performed many times - as many as ten times - during
the marriage ceremony with the bride being away taken for it.
All the while the bride invokes blessings for a long married
life, children and good health till such time that her maternal
uncle comes to escort her to the mandap.
In villages the groom is welcomed at the village boundary by
the bride's mother and given a handful of ghee, some milk and
a banana. The groom has half of it and the other half is fed
to the bride. With this function, the pre-marriage rituals are
complete.
On the morning of the marriage-day, various ablutionary rituals
are performed on both the bride and the groom in their own homes.
Their bodies are anointed with turmeric, sandalwood paste and
oils. This anointing has a threefold purpose: cleanse the body,
soften the skin, and make it aromatic. They are then bathed
to the chanting of Vedic mantras. Today this is done symbolically,
if at all, with a token application of turmeric, sandalwood,
and oil on the face and arms, just before the bath.
ANTAR PAATH
At the mandap the groom stands on one side of a partitioning
cloth or antar paath facing westwards, while the priests
start the nuptial rites. The bride is led in by her maternal
uncle and stands on the other side facing eastwards. At the
auspicious moment the antar paath is lowered and the
bride and the groom garland each other in formal mutual acceptance.
This ceremony is called Jaimala. Jai means victory and
mala means garland.
This custom is now a very important part of the wedding ceremony
even though it finds nomention in the Vedas. It probably originates
from the svayamvara custom. After this, the bride and
groom sit in the mandapa next to each other before a
sacrificial pit or havan kunda. The bride sits to the
right of the groom, with her parents to her right, while the
priest sits opposite them, to the left of the groom. In the
centre is the Agni or sacred fire. Kanyadana now
takes place. Her father gives the bride to the groom. In the
absence of her father, the grandfather or brother does the honours.
The bride's father first symbolically gives her to Vishnu.
The priest invokes the god with mantras. The bride's father
takes her hands and places them in the groom's, thereby transferring
his responsibility for her to the groom. The groom assures her
father that he will not be false to her and the couple take
the four vows of dharma, artha, kama or moksha
promising to be together through all the four aspects of life
- religion, wealth, passion and spiritual attainment. After
this part of the ceremony, in south India, the groom ties tali
around the bride's neck. The tying of the mangalasutra
or the marriage necklace, similar to the marriage ring, has
now become the crux of the kanyadana ceremony. The bride's
mother now performs oti bharne on her and gifts her a sari into
which she changes. The agni pradakshina ritual follows,
in which the bride and groom ritually walk seven times around
the sacred fire. This part of the ritual is also called pheras,
signifying their union. During the pheras, the bride is made
to stand upon a stone, to symbolically imbibe its firmness to
help her be loyal and faithful to her husband. The marriage
ceremony now enters its most important phase, the saptapadi,
or the taking of seven steps together, facing the north. After
the saptapadi, the bride comes to the groom's left, leaving
his 'strong' right side free to take on the world. Legally,
the marriage is final and binding, in those Paddhatis that include
the saptapadi. Legend goes that during the marriage of Shiva
and Parvati, Shiva asked Parvati to come to his left after the
agni pradakshina, symbolizing that they had been married. Parvati
said she would not accept this as a marriage until Shiva granted
her seven wishes. Shiva did so, and then made seven stipulations,
which Parvati accepted, and then she came to his left. With
each step, the bride and groom pray for food, strength, wealth,
happiness, progeny, cattle and devotion. The couple are now
considered married
One of the Maharashtrian customs was the change in the name
of the bride after marriage, by which she would now be addressed.
This signified the new start in life that marriage has conferred
on her. This practice is not always followed but is a matter
of individual choice.
DOLI
The bride's mother now gifts the groom's parents with sixteen
diyas made of dough. The couple collects the Annapurna goddess
from the bride's room and leave for the groom's home.
SUNMUKH
Here again an ancient custom is followed when the bride takes
her first auspicious step into her new home by kicking over
a tumbler of rice. The Annapurna goddess is placed in a plate
of rice in which the groom writes his bride's name. The oti
bharne is done once again and sweets are distributed. Later
the bride's mother-in-law performs the sunmukh ritual
- she sits between the couple and observes them through a mirror.
With the removal of the sacred thread tied during the nuptial
ceremony around their neck and later on the wrists, the marriage
festivities are concluded. Some of the rituals are long drawn
out and last several days. However, in the metro cites like
Bombay most of these rituals are performed in one day - the
marriage day. The main purpose of these rituals is to inculcate
and drill into the couple the age-old human virtues, which are
sadly missing these days and serve as a reminder.
TRADITIONAL DRESSES AND ORNAMENTS
A Maharashtrian bride would wear a nine-yard sari. Most brides
wear saris now a days in shades of red, pink or mustard. A bride
sports as much traditional jewellery as her family can afford
to give, for today, she is Lakshmi incarnate, the Goddess of
wealth and the harbinger of prosperity to her new home. Like
her clothes, the bride's ornaments
differ according to local tradition. However, most brides wear
the following jewellery in the form of necklaces, earrings,
bangles, rings, nose-ring, anklets, and toe-rings. Ornaments
like armlets, tikas, hathaphula, and waistbands, traditionally
important, are an optional item today and not worn in all areas.
Traditionally, the bride was adorned with natural beauty aids-
her eyes lined with kajal and scented water was sprinkled on
her. Now a days, however, change is apparent and most brides,
urban and rural, use branded cosmetics and perfumes. In western
and south India, flowers were, and remain, an important adornment.
North India is now beginning to rediscover this pretty custom.
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