Wedding Planner

Invitation - The Groom Tells His Parents...

"Mom, Dad, this is Julie" If only it were that simple. Telling your parents that you are getting engaged can make you break out in flop sweat. Will they like her? How will she fit in with the family? These and other questions will be running through your mind until you finally break the big news.

For some, however, telling your parents about the engagement will be a joy. If they love her and have always hoped you’d marry her, then telling them should be a breeze.

Either way, you should think long and hard about how and when you’ll break the news. The right scenario will come to you.

Cohorts

Many of the men we spoke with had one thing in common: they’d all approached their parents for advice about purchasing the engagement ring. "My mom actually went with me to buy the ring," Mike, a marketing associate from Los Angeles told us. "She knew the jeweller." John, a graphic artist in Hollywood, asked his father for help. "He’d used the same jeweler for years, so I knew it was someone I could trust." Along the same lines, several people told us their families possessed heirloom rings with stones that they used for the new engagement ring. These families became the groom’s partners in planning, so the engagement announcement did not come as a surprise.

Tears of Joy

If the announcement will be a surprise to your family, and you know they’ll be happy about it, you may wish to break the news as a couple. Why not invite your parents over for dinner, or plan a dinner at their place? Since tears of happiness may flow, your parents may be more comfortable in a private home than a public setting. Don’t rule out the fancy restaurant, though. Nothing beats being able to spontaneously order a bottle of wonderful champagne. If you live far from your parents, and are unable to bring them the great news in person, plan a phone call. "We called my parents first," said Kelly, a product manager from Virginia. "Then we called his mother together." Before you make the phone announcement, make sure everyone is on the phone at once, even if it takes a conference call to accomplish this. Breaking the news this way will seem like more of an event, and will make up in some small way for not being able to tell them in person.

Polite Smiles

If you’re in the pool of guys whose parents won’t be overjoyed by your announcement, you may want to tell them without your fiancée present. Having her there won’t suddenly make everything perfect, it may simply make things more awkward. Telling them by yourself may give them a chance to express their feelings honestly. Undoubtedly their thoughts are important to you, but you’ve chosen to marry the woman you love, so stand tough. Let them express their opinions, then take the high road. Tell them about your excitement and your love. If you are not close to your parents and a personal visit would be strange, let them know about your engagement in the old-fashioned, polite way: with a letter. Make the letter personal. Share your feelings. Who knows what ice this communication might break?

Who’s Who

One small piece of advice: if your parents haven’t met your betrothed, it may be a good idea to have them meet at least once before you spring the news on them. You’re hoping they’ll react well to your announcement, and there’s a greater chance of this when they’ve had a chance to meet the woman you love. If your parents are divorced, it’s a good idea to make plans for two announcements. Don’t rely on one parent to tell the other as this could result in hurt feelings.

Finally

Here’s one final thing to remember as you make your announcement. Regardless of how your parents react, this is good news. Really good news.

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Invitation - The Groom Tells His Parents...

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